Pool Guy

Now that we’ve joined a gym and our monthly membership fee looms, we’ve had this crazy notion that we should actually use the gym.  I can proudly say, that after 2 weeks, we’ve done just that.  My wife is exercising on practically a daily basis, I got my ass kicked via a complimentary 1 hour training session, and the kids seem content being penned up in the child center for about an hour.

As I previously mentioned, the tipping point for the entire family joining the gym was the mega-pool.  In theory, it’s great.  I can sit by the pool, watch the kids not drown, they get tired, I put them in the car, I’m Dad of the Year.  The reality, though, is pretty comical.  Because I have the good fortune of being able to go at peak swimming hours, I get to people watch…arguably my favorite pasttime.  The pool seems to be sectioned off much like a high school cafeteria (jocks, popular kids, etc.).  Let me take a crack at breaking it down for  you:

• The Mom Section – about 8-10 moms gather like hens at the corner of the zero edge part of the pool all wearing their dolce gabbana sunglasses sunglasses and keeping a half-eye on their kids, and keeping the other 1 1/2 eyes on the conversation about how the Jonas Brothers cancelled their concert and her girls are just devastated now (actual conversation).  And because of this, their kids are running around the pool area, diving into the shallow end and being all-around maniacs.  I’m about one more splash away from kicking them in the kidneys.
• The Victor Conte Section – These are about 3 or 4 bros that just got done with about 1000 bench presses, 5000 lat pulls and a ton of ab crunches and feel incumbent upon themselves to be in the pool.  Not swimming, not even talking to women, literally strutting the width of the pool.  If I had money to put on it, I’d bet the Mom Section kept better watch of those in the Conte Section than they do of their kids.
• The Swim Team Section – The kids that spend a LOT of time at the pool.  They get in once in awhile, but it looks like they’ve already done their thing.  It be like me hanging out at the track after I’ve already done intervals.
• Me Section – I’m too cool for school.  I hang out at the edge of the pool, splash my kids, and make sure that my 3 year old doesn’t try to perform the Dead Man’s Float.  I take great joy in watching him walk under the mushroom in utter amazement and joy every time he does it.  I’m that guy.  Oh yeah, I’m wearing my Oakleys.  I’ve got a cool rep to protect.

So I just realized that I’m spending my membership on people watching.  That’s fine.  It’s totally worth it.  I think a breakdown of the rest of the gym…excuse me, fitness center….is in order, but that will be for a later time.  Until then, have a great weekend everyone!